


Calm Your Tits, Anastasia.

by boundxdoll



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Brotp, F/M, Gay Bar, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 15:49:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1232209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boundxdoll/pseuds/boundxdoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a short, funny fic of Svetlana taking Mickey to a gay bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calm Your Tits, Anastasia.

"What the fuck do you mean you want to take me to a gay club?" Mickey asked eyeing Svetlana like she was crazy. Let's face it, she fucking was, but this was whole new level of nuts to Mickey. "You know what a gay club is right 'Lana?" 

"Just what I said, I want to take you to a gay club, is this so hard for you to understand? Why I have to marry stupid one?" She replied with her thick accent, exhaling smoke from her lungs. "Of course I know what gay club is! I was not born today." Her words coming out in a huff.

Mickey rolled his eyes at the first comment and shook his head, snatching the cigarette from her hand and taking a drag for himself. "The saying is 'born yesterday'..." Mickey corrected with a laugh. 

"Whatever! Same thing, so we go or not?" She was growing impatient, having gotten herself excited. "We go, go shower you smell like ashtray and cheap whiskey," wrinkling her nose to prove her point, stealing the cigarette back. 

"So what now I don't have a choice? Fuck you, I do not." Smelling himself, and then looking at her with a look that said 'don't say a thing' before turning and heading towards the bathroom mumbling about pushy women and no wonder he liked dick. 

"No, you have no choice, you would make the wrong one! This why women are here, to make choice for men!" She bellowed after him. "And I heard that!" Chuckling she absently rubbed her baby bump looking down at it. "I hope you are girl. Men are too fussy, and girls are smarter you'll see, solnyshko (sunshine)." Finally pushing up from the chair she made her way to the bedroom, waddling a little because of her pregnancy. It took her a few moments but she found and outfit for herself to wear out. Changing into it while Mickey was in the shower. 

"Jesus christ why does living in this neighborhood mean you either get burned alive in the shower or it's fucking freezing, can't have a fuckin' happy medium, and it's your fuckin' fault, makin' me go out and shit." Mickey grumbled as he came into the room, to find something for himself to wear. 

"Is all you know how to do bitch? Bitch, bitch, bitch, fuck sake you sure you not pregnant?" Svetlana teased. "Stop being such a baby, get dressed lets go. You take longer than me!" 

"Is all you know how to do is fuckin' pick on me, calm your tits, Anastasia we're goin'," he retorted coolly pulling on a part of jeans. 

"I'll be in car. Try not to take all day Cinderella." Svetlana laughed, leaving him to get dressed while she waited in the car. 

"Yeah you go wait in the car," he grumbled as he finished getting dressed, meeting her out there moments later, and getting into the driver's seat. "Where is the fuckin' bar?" When she told him, he headed in that direction, lighting himself a cigarette or two, or three along the way. Once there he found parking and glanced over to Svetlana. "Alright we're here, what now?" 

"We get out of car, you smile, we find you cute men to buy you drink. It's simple just be...nice." 

They were only in there ten minutes before Mickey decked a guy for touching his ass, but it was worth a shot, Svetlana's next idea was going to have to be fool proof. Ten whole minutes, not even enough time to get comfortable. She couldn't take him anywhere. 

"Wanna just go watch porn?" She asked giving him a cute smile.

"Ugh fine but not Schindler's Fist again," he replied trying to cover up his own. Who knew having a wife would be so bad right? They were more like friends, something Mickey didn't really have, and she was supportive of him, helpful even. He'd never been more comfortable with his sexuality before, and all it took was honesty.


End file.
